Cherry falls

It has been 6 years since I first talked to Paul. Back then he was 20, and I was lying about my age. Somehow we had managed to keep in touch all these years, probably because of his undying sense of humor and ability to make any situation seem absolutely hilarious. Laugh out loud hilarious. The years went and we both got older, he saw me through all of my growing up stages- first kisses, first boyfriends, last days of school, last teenage years, all the while he stayed the same, just older.

It was about a week ago he actually started talking to me for the first time as an adult, a real person. I even managed to get him to pick up his phone (we had always discussed phone conversations but never had them because he was too scared) where we arranged a meeting, something I never thought could possibly happen. This was due to the fact that Paul, despite being absolutely hilarious online, was completely socially inept in reality. He had never even held a girl's hand or hugged a girl before for crying out loud!

So, with a bag full of cosmetics/clothes I headed to Toddington, a tiny little village in Bedfordshire, where I was picked up by a very very very nervous Paul and his friend Phil. Phil was one of Paul's best friends, and our ride/sleep for the night, since I was staying in his flat. We went to the cinema and despite my best efforts ended up seeing Pirates of the Carribean, although I got back for dinner when I forced them both to take me to Frankie & Benny's. The main advantage of going out with men a lot older is that they just kept footing my bill, even in the cinema. And not just that, but kept ordering stuff I didn't even want like side salads and garlic bread and cocktail after cocktail. By then, Paul had gotten a lot less nervous, which might have been due to the fact that Phil was like a bumper keeping the conversation going whenever he shied away and also the amount of cocktails we were all having. I even managed to get him to hug me! And, there, in Frankie & Benny's he lost his hug virginity. We then headed back to the flat where Phil kept growing more and more impatient with the tv while me and Paul discussed random stuff over even more drinks. The night culminated in all of us falling asleep while watching hot fuzz, which is a BRILLIANT film still, I can't believe I forgot how good it was! Either way, I was taken to the station again in the morning and even gave Paul his first, albeit awkward, kiss.

I'm not sure how this has never happened to him. Yes, I guess he is a bit shy but surely some girls find that endearing? More so, he is not even at all bad looking. The more I thought about it, still drunk from the night before, the more I got angrier and angrier. Are girls really that difficult to approach? And if the guy doesn't make the first move, do things never happen for them?

I just hope I made a difference for him to feel more confident in talking to girls, I did try making the process as easy for him as possible. I take it upon myself to get this guy a girlfriend. I will from now on be his best girl mate forward slash dating spirit guide and will teach him all my now useless knowledge on dating.

And now you're filling all the space that surrounds you....

The last few weeks have been somewhat of a rollercoaster. I've been watching star wars with Sluggy, travelling back and forth to Gravesend to parties and also where my only real current friend, Grant, lives, doing many photoshoots and drinking alcohol with Beatrice, while at the same time managing side projects such as designing and attempting to make my own t-shirts, reinventing my look/style, watching as many things that make me happy (the nanny, musicals, other awesome films, how i met your mother, maybe firefly soon!), reading "Northern Lights" and "The photograph as contemporary art", making an innovative dinner for my parents every night AND going to uni at the same time. Busy weekend ahead planned, and that's just the beginning, the real fun begins when Catherine, Rachael, Steve and Dan come back from uni.

I'm just afraid if I stop I won't be able to start again.

Drunkland

Saturday the 14th of May, for some it is yet another spring day, nothing out of the ordinary. However, if you come from a European country, and have quite a high tolerance for bullshit, that day is the day that you spend 5 hours watching the most entertaining show on earth- Eurovision.

With my party plans for the day before ruined, I grabbed an early night in and woke up refreshed, albeit early due to my mum wanting to go shopping with me. I can't complain, whenever we go shopping together she always buys everything for me. However, a trip to Bluewater was something I really didn't need, especially as I saw his best friend there, bringing the daunting thought that he is in Kent straight into the pits of my stomach, making me feel sick. After a couple of playful text messages from my friends I started feeling better, yet still a little bit wary. We had a big lunch at my sister's cafe, I had the broccoli soup and chicken Caesar salad. NOM. Then we shopped for a little bit and returned with my sister back to our house, where full on Eurovision chaos ensued. I was printing out all the participating countries' flags to stick them up as impromptu decorations and also sorting out the drinking game and rules. Before we knew it, first people started arriving, but not without me and my sister getting into our "bad taste" outfits. They were incredibly hillarious. The depressing thing is that I actually started to really like the way I looked the more I got drunk. Anyway, two couples arrived and the eurovision got on the way. We were on the lookout for typical eurovision things to happen, as they were in the rules for the drinking game (Using the word "Love", song name that doesn't make sense, pyrotechnics, gay people, bleached hair and tan) I sat down next to some really nice guy called Nigel who by the end of the night was like my best friend, he was telling me how awesome and clever I was! A lot more people arrived and things started getting blurry. The night culminated with the points drinking game. I got Ireland, which was bad news for my parents, cause they got quite a few points, leaving me to down shot after shot of vodka. Then there was dancing, and drunk talking to my mum about... I don't even remember? There was a random photoshoot in my room and then everyone left to get the last trains home. I stayed up for a bit drunk talking to people online and then went to sleep, content and happy.

What happens in Brighton

With a brand new attitude towards everything and a bank account full of cash, I anxiously headed out to the gay capital of the UK. Being so used to coach journeys, the two hours went by without even me noticing, may be due to the fact that I couldn't stop staring out the window into the awesome rich houses we were passing. I was greeted by the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING VIEW OF THE SEA and a semi drunken Emily with an open bottle of beer in her hand. The spirits were high as we got on the bus to go to their part of the city to attend some barbeque. The mix of the people seemed strange as half of them were proper alternative kids and the other half were on the verge of being chavs, but everyone was drunk and merry and getting along. The night ended in being drunk and watching a bonfire and discussing the meaning of life with some very clever guy called Jimmy and some extremely fit alternative chick, Ali. The funtimes were cut short as it started raining quite heavily out of nowhere and everyone was rushed to bring the sofas back into the house. Everyone seemed quite tired and it was decided to just go back to Emily's and finish up our drinks just chatting in bed. One of their friends was then heavily fraped by Cam who decided to message offensive stuff to everyone with the name Bacon. I spent the night cuddled up to Emily, listening to some seriously country music.

The second morning we all decided to head out and have a nice civilized lunch at Harvester, which was probably the best idea ever. I actually found myself with half an appetite and managed to eat half a burger before feeling sick again. This was obviously washed down with a pint of Bulmers. We then met up with Emily's friend Simon, who has an unnatural obsession with everyone's biceps. I decided to buy myself a little compact camera since I had money and wanted to start recording my Best Summer Ever so that I would never forget it and have the memories to cherish whenever I feel a little bit down. We then bought some wine and cider and headed to the beach for a little afternoon drink, which of course ended in me being absolutely wasted before anyone else even got a chance to feel tipsy. The rain cut the festivities short again and we headed to Emily's to get changed and drink some more in her now world famous bed, then to Simon's where we convinced his extremely good looking roommate, Tom to join us on our crazy night out. I was drunk enough to accidentally buy a 10 pound bottle of wine without even noticing it, and we were now pissed and on our way into town. The club, Audio, was like any good club should ideally be. It had two floors, one in the basement with more upbeat music for dancing, and the upstairs was a sort of posh bar area where the music was turned down so you could actually hear people talking but dancing was still encouraged. Despite an array of cheap drinks, I ordered double soco but really paced myself as I could feel myself getting drunk. The others had no such intention, and were progressively outdrunking me. Tom started talking to a 45 year old woman, and decided to put his and Emily's phone numbers on a paper aeroplane and hand it to her, despite her having kids and a husband. Me and Simon found that we actually knew a lot of the same people from back home and went for a massive bitch to the smoking area. Upon our return, I noticed that the whole place where we were sitting was covered in drinks, which made me slip like a crazy person, stand on my foot funny and make my ankle bone come out. I fell straight into Tom's arms, which would've been incredibly romantic if I wasn't in the worst pain of my life. I then had to sit down for like half an hour with my head down because I was literally going to cry. However, this gave the gang a perfect excuse to buy me drinks and make me forget about the fact that my ankle was now fucked. This is the point where things start getting seriously blurry. It was 4 am and the dancing area was taken full advantage of as we danced around like crazy people for like an hour, untill the barmaid had had enough and refused to serve Emily or Tom. The club was left in a complete rush and we ended up in some strange gay bar way down the road, with the most masculine ladybouncer I've ever seen. I bought myself a red bull while everyone else stocked up on the free condoms they had at the bar. Unluckily for them, the condoms also came with a sachet of lube, this being a gay bar and all. Emily and Tom decided it'd be a great idea to cover each other in lube, which just HAD to go everywhere, and it ended up with them falling off their high chairs together because everything was so lubed up they couldn't hold onto anything. Simon distracted the bouncer for long enough for us not to be thrown out of the bar, and we changed positions, finding some comfortable sofas at the back of the place. I was chatted up by at least three men wearing hula costumes and staring incessantly at my tits. Simon must've been the voice of reason the whole night because he talked them off me without even sparking any confrontation. Emily got on my lap and started kissing me like insane, getting my lipstick ALL over her face. She wasn't as good a kisser as I had previously remembered from like a year ago? Tom, who had now lost his lube buddy fell swifly asleep, with his hand on Emily's ass. The pivoting moment was when Simon spilt his drink all over Tom, possibly purposely and we were out of there. The bouncer was so pissed off I thought she was literally going to strangle Tom. We left in high spirits and headed straight for a kebab shop, and then swiftly grabbing a cab back to Emily's, even though Simon's house had two free beds. Tom and Simon fell asleep straight away, having been relegated to the floor, while me and Emily kept making out like crazy. She got extremely insulted when I actually told her I was going to sleep, however my argument that it was actually light outside had seemed to work, and we fell asleep.

We woke up having found Tom missing, and refusing to answer his phone. Sunday was the day that I was meant to be going home, however this hardly stopped us from going out to the local off license and grabbing ridiculous amounts of cider. By the time I had to leave, we were all ridiculously drunk again, which is probably why Emily convinced me to stay for at least another day. This concluded in a 14 hour drinking marathon in Emily's bed, which had got me to really bond with everyone. We also ordered pizza, and I had found my appetite again. Emily invited her lesbian friend over, who looked slightly like a koala bear. All three of us slept in her bed, which was uncomfortable and annoying as the two of them were giggling like crazy until like 8am.

Monday I decided that staying another night would probably be a terrible idea and decided to set off, refusing to drink my unopened bottle of lambrini because I knew if I started drinking again I would never ever leave. Simon was lovely enough to take me back into town and helped me find the coach station. Emily wasn't feeling so great, therefore she stayed behind in bed. I swiftly fell asleep on the coach with a happy feeling in my throat. It seems like I've been cured, at least for now.

This is the summer I am never going to forget.
I'm making sure of it.