LALALALALAL

I've quit my job! I, from now on, am going to be exclusively involved in the fashion industry. Hoping to get an internship for the summer, but it's one thing to wander and another to actually get stuff done.
Watching a documentary on Joan Rivers really helped, it just shows her complete determination towards what she's always wanted to do. And you know what, I see a lot of myself in her, she's incredible, albeit brash (something I've never had the lack of heart to be). It just really changes things.

I think I've finally done it. I think I'm over you.

Tonight the stars will lead me home
Because they know where I belong
Ignore the wandering eye
They know far better than I
In your arms
In your arms forevermore.

It's been crazy busy these past couple of months. I may have even forgotten to drink every couple of weeks! Now that this term of uni is finished though I can concentrate on other important stuff like my business, my career, my relationships and most of all my kitty : 3. She is still the craziest sweetest thing ever, though sometimes we do get angry with each other but usually end up talking through the issue and everything's fine again.

The only real downside is my job. I hate it, I absolutely despise having to work for such idiot customers, It's really making me lose my nerve with humanity. However I have cut my hours wayyyyy down, and now there's prospect of another job, one that I've longed for since I was about 17 and had my first encounter with in a shady, red toned club. It's just getting Luke to agree to it really. Kinda unconventional but since when have I been conventional. It's sorta like an obsession- I can't stop reading about it, practicing in the mirror even though he's basically said no.

Oh, and I've joined the gym. I still eat pretty much the same but now I just work it all off most nights. I have a personal trainer and everything! He's slightly evil but I think I'm supposed to think that. Either way, 1kg down 15 to go!

Find something you love to do and you'll never work a day in your life

I think I've finally found it!

I have no idea why I still cling onto what was. You have brought me so much misery. Before and after, with a little fleeing moment of joy in between that is the only thing I seem to remember. I fought so hard to get there, went through so much, and you just threw me back once used up.

I'm done.

be the same.

My mind is so fucked. It's as if I'm unintentionally hanging onto his being. I don't think about him so much during the day. It's just my dreams. On the bad days I dream of him, 6 out of 7. The one day I don't is usually a very good day, I usually go to sleep lulled by my sweetie, and wake up to his lovely face.

I just want to let this go. I've thought of every single memory of him at least five times in my head, searching for something, in pain or in happy retrospect. In dreams I start making new memories, well, my mind does, I would never ever put myself through that. There's no closure. All I know is that I was the happiest girl and then he dumped me. I don't even know why. He didn't love me? His friends? Another girl? Something I did?

I think my mind is just unwilling to accept everything and the way it happened. I miss him so much, just talking to him, which doesn't help. I have the most brilliant guy I could ever have now, and he makes me so bloody happy. I just want the dreams to go away.

Anyway, pissed off, going to the gym.

BOOK PREQUEL 1

Have you heard of the myth of how Sirius came to be? The bright, shining star located in the very north corner of our heavens? The star praised for its beauty and never dying helpfulness to many lost at sea or land, it can always be relied on to show hope.

Assuming on the times we're in, with ancient wisdom falling on deaf ears of the young, it seems that the story had been lost in time or changed so drastically it could not possibly be recognized anymore.

It starts with a young boy, Aeschylus, born to the noblest of men in all of Athens, a politician and his beautiful wife who was loved dearly but not nearly as often as required by her husband. With such intimate marital knowledge being widespread, the boy's roots were in question by everyone but the Husband, who should've been the least at ease, especially as the boy grew taller and wider than he ever was. Aeschylus, at 16 was already the size and the build of a bull, with a brain to match. Such a boy was a great commodity at the time, and had a very promising future, despite his un-resemblance to his father being whispered across the halls and the markets all over town, he had gained the prosperity and with it the high level of education any parents could hope for. It is here, where our story takes an impromptu, but perhaps an expected turn. A girl. Of the same age but of different upbringing, Athanasia was possibly the least beautiful daughter a god could hope for. Apollo, her father, was so deeply upset by his daughter's shortcomings that he decided to hide her away in an orphanage, in a village no one would ever look in. The girl, grew beautiful (not as beautiful as she should have been due to godly heritage, but amongst humans she shone all the same), and had an unparalleled creativity and imagination. It was this that turned her to sculpt, a hobby that was highly unorthodox for a girl at those times, but she had such a way with her materials that no one had the heart to protest. This is how our two heroes met. Athanasia, comissioned to sculpt the most beautiful boy in all the land, meets Aeschylus, and the two fall in love, due to the long and strenuous hours together, where they could not move or touch each other, but could talk. Aeschylus had never met such a creature, she was inquisitive and inspiring, unlike other girls who were just interested in children and wifery. After three days together, he had decided he wanted this girl for himself, forever.