be the same.

My mind is so fucked. It's as if I'm unintentionally hanging onto his being. I don't think about him so much during the day. It's just my dreams. On the bad days I dream of him, 6 out of 7. The one day I don't is usually a very good day, I usually go to sleep lulled by my sweetie, and wake up to his lovely face.

I just want to let this go. I've thought of every single memory of him at least five times in my head, searching for something, in pain or in happy retrospect. In dreams I start making new memories, well, my mind does, I would never ever put myself through that. There's no closure. All I know is that I was the happiest girl and then he dumped me. I don't even know why. He didn't love me? His friends? Another girl? Something I did?

I think my mind is just unwilling to accept everything and the way it happened. I miss him so much, just talking to him, which doesn't help. I have the most brilliant guy I could ever have now, and he makes me so bloody happy. I just want the dreams to go away.

Anyway, pissed off, going to the gym.