Find something you love to do and you'll never work a day in your life

I think I've finally found it!

I have no idea why I still cling onto what was. You have brought me so much misery. Before and after, with a little fleeing moment of joy in between that is the only thing I seem to remember. I fought so hard to get there, went through so much, and you just threw me back once used up.

I'm done.

be the same.

My mind is so fucked. It's as if I'm unintentionally hanging onto his being. I don't think about him so much during the day. It's just my dreams. On the bad days I dream of him, 6 out of 7. The one day I don't is usually a very good day, I usually go to sleep lulled by my sweetie, and wake up to his lovely face.

I just want to let this go. I've thought of every single memory of him at least five times in my head, searching for something, in pain or in happy retrospect. In dreams I start making new memories, well, my mind does, I would never ever put myself through that. There's no closure. All I know is that I was the happiest girl and then he dumped me. I don't even know why. He didn't love me? His friends? Another girl? Something I did?

I think my mind is just unwilling to accept everything and the way it happened. I miss him so much, just talking to him, which doesn't help. I have the most brilliant guy I could ever have now, and he makes me so bloody happy. I just want the dreams to go away.

Anyway, pissed off, going to the gym.