What happens in Brighton

With a brand new attitude towards everything and a bank account full of cash, I anxiously headed out to the gay capital of the UK. Being so used to coach journeys, the two hours went by without even me noticing, may be due to the fact that I couldn't stop staring out the window into the awesome rich houses we were passing. I was greeted by the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING VIEW OF THE SEA and a semi drunken Emily with an open bottle of beer in her hand. The spirits were high as we got on the bus to go to their part of the city to attend some barbeque. The mix of the people seemed strange as half of them were proper alternative kids and the other half were on the verge of being chavs, but everyone was drunk and merry and getting along. The night ended in being drunk and watching a bonfire and discussing the meaning of life with some very clever guy called Jimmy and some extremely fit alternative chick, Ali. The funtimes were cut short as it started raining quite heavily out of nowhere and everyone was rushed to bring the sofas back into the house. Everyone seemed quite tired and it was decided to just go back to Emily's and finish up our drinks just chatting in bed. One of their friends was then heavily fraped by Cam who decided to message offensive stuff to everyone with the name Bacon. I spent the night cuddled up to Emily, listening to some seriously country music.

The second morning we all decided to head out and have a nice civilized lunch at Harvester, which was probably the best idea ever. I actually found myself with half an appetite and managed to eat half a burger before feeling sick again. This was obviously washed down with a pint of Bulmers. We then met up with Emily's friend Simon, who has an unnatural obsession with everyone's biceps. I decided to buy myself a little compact camera since I had money and wanted to start recording my Best Summer Ever so that I would never forget it and have the memories to cherish whenever I feel a little bit down. We then bought some wine and cider and headed to the beach for a little afternoon drink, which of course ended in me being absolutely wasted before anyone else even got a chance to feel tipsy. The rain cut the festivities short again and we headed to Emily's to get changed and drink some more in her now world famous bed, then to Simon's where we convinced his extremely good looking roommate, Tom to join us on our crazy night out. I was drunk enough to accidentally buy a 10 pound bottle of wine without even noticing it, and we were now pissed and on our way into town. The club, Audio, was like any good club should ideally be. It had two floors, one in the basement with more upbeat music for dancing, and the upstairs was a sort of posh bar area where the music was turned down so you could actually hear people talking but dancing was still encouraged. Despite an array of cheap drinks, I ordered double soco but really paced myself as I could feel myself getting drunk. The others had no such intention, and were progressively outdrunking me. Tom started talking to a 45 year old woman, and decided to put his and Emily's phone numbers on a paper aeroplane and hand it to her, despite her having kids and a husband. Me and Simon found that we actually knew a lot of the same people from back home and went for a massive bitch to the smoking area. Upon our return, I noticed that the whole place where we were sitting was covered in drinks, which made me slip like a crazy person, stand on my foot funny and make my ankle bone come out. I fell straight into Tom's arms, which would've been incredibly romantic if I wasn't in the worst pain of my life. I then had to sit down for like half an hour with my head down because I was literally going to cry. However, this gave the gang a perfect excuse to buy me drinks and make me forget about the fact that my ankle was now fucked. This is the point where things start getting seriously blurry. It was 4 am and the dancing area was taken full advantage of as we danced around like crazy people for like an hour, untill the barmaid had had enough and refused to serve Emily or Tom. The club was left in a complete rush and we ended up in some strange gay bar way down the road, with the most masculine ladybouncer I've ever seen. I bought myself a red bull while everyone else stocked up on the free condoms they had at the bar. Unluckily for them, the condoms also came with a sachet of lube, this being a gay bar and all. Emily and Tom decided it'd be a great idea to cover each other in lube, which just HAD to go everywhere, and it ended up with them falling off their high chairs together because everything was so lubed up they couldn't hold onto anything. Simon distracted the bouncer for long enough for us not to be thrown out of the bar, and we changed positions, finding some comfortable sofas at the back of the place. I was chatted up by at least three men wearing hula costumes and staring incessantly at my tits. Simon must've been the voice of reason the whole night because he talked them off me without even sparking any confrontation. Emily got on my lap and started kissing me like insane, getting my lipstick ALL over her face. She wasn't as good a kisser as I had previously remembered from like a year ago? Tom, who had now lost his lube buddy fell swifly asleep, with his hand on Emily's ass. The pivoting moment was when Simon spilt his drink all over Tom, possibly purposely and we were out of there. The bouncer was so pissed off I thought she was literally going to strangle Tom. We left in high spirits and headed straight for a kebab shop, and then swiftly grabbing a cab back to Emily's, even though Simon's house had two free beds. Tom and Simon fell asleep straight away, having been relegated to the floor, while me and Emily kept making out like crazy. She got extremely insulted when I actually told her I was going to sleep, however my argument that it was actually light outside had seemed to work, and we fell asleep.

We woke up having found Tom missing, and refusing to answer his phone. Sunday was the day that I was meant to be going home, however this hardly stopped us from going out to the local off license and grabbing ridiculous amounts of cider. By the time I had to leave, we were all ridiculously drunk again, which is probably why Emily convinced me to stay for at least another day. This concluded in a 14 hour drinking marathon in Emily's bed, which had got me to really bond with everyone. We also ordered pizza, and I had found my appetite again. Emily invited her lesbian friend over, who looked slightly like a koala bear. All three of us slept in her bed, which was uncomfortable and annoying as the two of them were giggling like crazy until like 8am.

Monday I decided that staying another night would probably be a terrible idea and decided to set off, refusing to drink my unopened bottle of lambrini because I knew if I started drinking again I would never ever leave. Simon was lovely enough to take me back into town and helped me find the coach station. Emily wasn't feeling so great, therefore she stayed behind in bed. I swiftly fell asleep on the coach with a happy feeling in my throat. It seems like I've been cured, at least for now.